It’s Real, and It Matters

Pets aren’t just animals we care for, they’re companions, they’re sources of comfort, and they’re part of our daily lives. When our beloved cat dies, it can leave a deep emotional pain. You’ve built routines around them, shared quiet moments, and felt their presence in your life. Losing that can be painful.

Grief for a pet can feel just as intense as grief for a person. It’s love and loss and there’s no rule that says it has to be “less” because they weren’t human. If anything, I believe it can feel even more intense as they were always a source of comfort during your life through the ups and downs. They knew you; they understood you.

Supporting Others Through This Unsettling Time

It’s important to remember that everyone grieves differently, and this is especially true for children. As parents/carers/family members it’s important to have open, honest communication. Providing a child with comfort and understanding, will give them a sense of permission to express their sadness which will help release rather than suppress their emotions. It’s OK for adults to show their emotion in front of children, too. Don’t forget...

“We’re born to be real, not perfect.”
Ralph Marston

The process of grieving varies from person to person but here’s a brief explanation of different phases that you may experience:

• Bargaining – You might find yourself thinking, “if only I had done this differently…” It’s a way of trying make sense of the loss.

• Denial – It’s hard to accept that your beloved pet really has died. You might find yourself expecting see them in their usual spot or hear their purr.

• Anger – This can be anger at the situation, yourself, or even the world. “It’s not fair” is a feeling that may show up from time to time.

• Acceptance – Over time, you start to make peace with the loss. It doesn’t mean you’re “over it,” just that you begin to carry the grief differently. Your beautiful cat becomes part of your memory in a way that still hurts but no longer overwhelms you all the time.

How to Support Yourself During Grief

Grieving the loss of a pet is a personal journey. Here are some ways to help yourself through it:

Acknowledge Your Grief - Recognise and accept the reality of your loss. Don’t minimise your pain or compare it to other types of grief. Even though this loss is of a pet, it is still real and meaningful to you. It’s okay to cry, to feel empty, and to miss your cat deeply. Grief is the price we pay for love.

Create a Tribute - Sometimes doing something physically helps with the emotional weight:

• Write a letter to your cat and say everything you wish you could.

• Make a photo album or collage.

• Create a small memorial — a framed photo, a candle, a toy, a spot they loved.

Tell Their Story - Talk about your cat with someone who understands. Share their quirks, habits, and the joy they brought you. Reminiscing helps keep their spirit alive. If you wish, you can share their story on Catitude's In Memoriam page.

Be Patient with Yourself - Grief does not follow a straight path. You might feel okay one day and upset the next. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, without judgment.

Find Gentle Distractions - You don’t need to ‘move on’ but small, comforting activities like going for a walk, listening to music, watching your favourite movie, etc. can help soften the intensity of grief in that moment.

Talk to Someone - Whether it’s a close friend, a counsellor, or a support group. Sharing your emotions can be incredibly relieving. There are even dedicated pet loss support groups where others truly understand the depth of your loss.

Consider Volunteering - When you feel ready, honour your cat’s memory by helping others, perhaps by volunteering at an animal shelter or donating in your cat’s name. Living is giving and volunteering provides a sense of meaning. Transforming your grief into compassion can be a powerful step toward moving forward.

Finally, the loss of a cat is not something you simply ‘get over.’ Instead, with time, love, and support, you learn to carry the grief in a way that honours the bond you shared. That connection never disappears, it simply becomes part of who you are.